Saturday, February 9, 2013

The confused girl

This section of my blog is based on a book by James Scott, All the information I will give you is very helpful if you put it to use. Do Not sit on this information if you are looking to better your relationship or even find the man of your dreams. I put to practice all steps of this book and it made me a very happy woman!!!
I would like to start with a story…A story you might relate to in several ways. Once upon a time, there was a girl…Who was strongly attracted to this particular guy she was dating. At first…She assumed that he was just another guy but as time passed by and she got to know him more… Her attraction for him grew. And with time, this attraction grew into a strong emotional urge to be with this guy. But this was the tricky part. This is where she did not know whether the guy felt the same way about her or not. The very fact of not being sure about how he felt towards her made her get more and more insecure. Occasionally he would say things like- You are so beautiful, I really like you, but would follow that with attempts to get physical. Every time she showed resistance towards his moves or tried to stop him during his charge…He would act a bit frustrated and ignore her for several days. This further confused her. She thought that maybe getting more physically intimate would take things to the next level. Therefore, she let him have his way. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months but it did not seem like this was going anywhere. She knew something was wrong with the picture but could not figure out what. No matter what she did…This guy was not acting as if he was falling in love. Rather he acted more like a friend. After spending many days obsessing over this guy the girl decided to pop the big question. One day on the phone she asked him – So what do, you think about us? He had no idea what she was on about. She asked again – You never tell me how you actually feel towards me. You never talk about our relationship. He was still as cold as ice and did not really have much of an answer. And then she made a bold move…She confessed her true feelings for him…She told him how much she loved him and wanted to spend her life with him. Nevertheless, the guy responded and said – Well I am too busy with my career at the moment...I don’t think this would be the right time. This only confused the girl more…She didn’t really know what to make of it. Day and night, she thought… Does it really mean he loves me as well but he is scared of something? Does it mean I asked him too early? Does it mean he isn’t ready to commit at all? These questions were driving her mad…She had to get this all figured out before it was too late. She really had to be with this guy no matter what. She thought she did not try hard enough therefore she concluded that if she could show him how much she truly loves him…He would eventually commit to her. And this is where the whole drama started…She started calling him more often…Started mentioning what she truly felt about him, how much she loved him and how she just couldn’t live without him. And this is where the unthinkable happened. He stopped answering her calls…She would leave messages after messages on his answering machine but to no avail. It took her several weeks to reach him only to hear that he had been extra busy the last few weeks and isn’t going to have any free time to see her for the next month or so. She tried to get more details…And before she could say anything else…He said he had to go and hung up the phone. Now I don’t know whether you have been in this situation or a situation similar to this. But we all know how it ends right? Most women going through such a thing are left in the dark thinking… Was it something I said…? Was it something I did…? What was it that scared him off? And, eventually when they cannot really find a logical reason…They end up thinking…Oh well! This is how men truly are…They just want one thing. They only use women. All men are jerks. First of all! Let me get something straight here…not all men want just one thing and not all men are jerks. If that was the case…You will never see relationships or marriages taking place in our society. Thinking that men just want one thing is a myth that the society has hardwired into the female brain. The big problem is that women assume that men have the same thinking process as they do. Women assume that men want the same things as they do. They have not really spent much time trying to truly figure out men on a deeper level and actually understand how men think and why they do what they do. A sign of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. Sorry to say this! But, this is exactly what many women out there do on a regular basis. A common example of this is the female who keeps on falling for the same abusive jerk over and over again. Only to discover once more that she has been cheated on/abused and taken advantage of yet again. Since many women do not understand men…What they assume should work actually ends up making things worse for them. Moreover, it’s no big surprise that they always end up confused because they do not understand how to handle different situations around men. You can never get a man to like you by confessing your love, convincing him to like you or chasing him around.

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